


Memories - Grindelwald x Dumbledore - Crimes of Grindelwald ONE SHOT

by moriartysqueen



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 02:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19347577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriartysqueen/pseuds/moriartysqueen
Summary: Albus constantly has to deal with the memories in his head reminding him of his past with Gellert Grindelwald. Can he resist, or will he give in?





	Memories - Grindelwald x Dumbledore - Crimes of Grindelwald ONE SHOT

**-Albus POV-**

 

I furiously stormed into my office, still agitated about what was just said about me. I didn’t have to turn around to know that Newt was following me.

Bless Newt. He always cared about everyone and their feelings; he cared more about other people than himself.

For some reason Newt, as well as his brother Theseus, attended the “hearing” that had just taken place. It wasn’t so much a hearing as just the minister accusing me of things I did not do and claim I said things I never said. While all the other supporters had basically been clinging at his lips the entire time, Newt was the only one looking out for me, caring about my reaction and whether or not I would stand up to them.

But I was tired of it. I was tired of defending myself against people who never listen.

“Do you believe anything they said Newt?” I asked into the quiet of my office without turning around.

“I believe _you_ professor.” He answered behind me, his voice closer than I had estimated. “So if you say that you don’t have anything to do with Grindelwald’s attacks then I believe you.”

I chuckled, pressing the palms of my hands onto the surface of my desk. “I do not know what I have ever done to earn your unshakeable trust like that Newt.”

When I turned to face him, he just stood there, in the middle of my office, fiddling with his hands as he so often does. He avoided my eye contact, as usual, but he still managed a reassuring smile. “You never gave me a reason not to trust you Professor.” He answered.

It made me smile to hear him still call me ‘Professor’, even though he had been out of school for over a decade now and I had offered him so many times to just call me by my first name.

“You wouldn’t trust me all that much if you knew what they know.” I mumbled, shamefully lowering my eyes.

“What do you mean by that Professor?” Newt asked after a couple beats of silence.

I sighed.

I trusted Newt, more than I trusted most people. But what I was about to tell him was personal and quite controversial.

“Newt do you know what the Mirror or Erised is?” I asked, figuring that Newt was the last person to judge someone based on their past.

He scratched the back of his head. “Apparently it shows you your deepest desires and wishes.”

“Did _you_ ever look into it?” I asked, still with my back facing towards him.

“Yes I… When I was 13 I accidentally found the mirror running away from Filch.” He answered matter-of-factly.

That made me laugh. I seemed to have a soft spot for the troubled students at Hogwarts.

“What did you see?” I asked.

“I… saw myself surrounded by different kinds of creatures. But they were all happy and living their best life without persecution, free to be themselves. I would like to think that this is still the image I would see.” A faint smile played around Newt’s lips.

Newt had never been the person to talk a lot, but the welfare of magical creatures had always been a priority for him.

“I used to be obsessed with this mirror you know.” I said with a huff, turning to face him.

“What do you see?” Newt asked shyly. I pressed my lips together.

“When I first found it, I was eleven, I had just started school. I saw my family. All alive, all happy, all together. It was torture – I would seek this mirror so often, just to see my family happy for once. And then the ultimate realization that this would never happen.”

Newts smile had faded away. I knew that he also had a complicated family life, but to my knowledge it had never been as serious as with me.

I remembered the years I spent at Hogwarts, not once being able to return home over the holidays. As much as I had wanted to, there would’ve been no one waiting anyway.

“But that image started to change when I was 15.” I added, watching Newts reaction.

He didn’t seem to understand at first, so I added: “After I met Grindelwald.”

For the first time during this conversation, Newt raised his green eyes to look at me. His gaze was alarmed, as if I had just admitted to being a serial killer.

“So you did know Grindelwald?” he asked innocently.

I chuckled, surprised, since I assumed that everyone knew. I expected Newt to know, alas he had heard all the claims the minister had made about our relationship. Most of them were false, yes, but it was all based on a tiny shred of truth.

“I knew him well.” I admitted, watching his face for reaction. “Too well, as some might argue today.”

Newt didn’t say anything, he just stared at me, waiting for me to continue my tale.

“The majority of my youth I spent alone, Newt. I never had friends, companions, no one. People didn’t understand me or my interest, so they simply avoided me. But soon, I became close with Grindelwald.” I stopped, unsure whether or not to say this next part.

“Then one day, the image in the mirror changed. Suddenly, I saw him.”

Tears started to well up inside me at this memory. “HE was my biggest desire, Newt.”

Newt seemed to search for the right words to say. “Well, you wanted him to be your friend.” Is what he eventually settled on.

“That’s the point.” I admitted. “I wanted him to be so much more than that.”

I fidgeted around with one of the pencils on my desk. “I wonder what would have happened if I had stopped him. Back then.”

“You couldn’t have known.” Newt tried to reassure me. “You were teenagers, how could you have known what he would eventually become.”

“That’s the problem. I did see it, Newt.” I stated, watching his gaze drop. “I saw his manipulation, his torturous tendencies, his anger, his violence against innocent creatures.” Newt scrunched his face at the last comment.

“I did see all that. But I just… decided to ignore it.”

I waited for Newts turn to speak, but he was silent. Nervously searching the ground for whatever.

“Imagine Newt – someone promises you everything you ever wanted.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_“What are you doing? Studying again?” I asked, peaking over his broad shoulders at the open books in front of him._

_“Albus!” he exclaimed. “I want to show you something.”_

_Gellert raised from his chair, standing next to me. He cleared a few papers and scrolls off the surface of the desk, apparently looking for a particular book. He picked up a small, black notebook and opened it._

_“Look!” he said, pointing at a symbol I had never seen before._

_“What is that? A rune?” I asked, looking up into his eyes that sparkled in excitement._

_“That is the sign for the Deathly Hallows.” He answered excitedly._

_“The what?” I asked. I had never heard that term before._

_“The Deathly Hallows are a composition of three things.” Gellert answered, his German accent shining through his words. They usually only do that when he’s agitated._

_“The Elder Wand, the most powerful wand in the world.” He pointed at a line within the symbol. “The Cloak of Invisibility,” he pointed at the triangle, “and finally the Resurrection Stone, which can bring people back from the dead.” He pointed at the circle._

_“Neat.” I answered. “But why is this so important.”_

_“I read that if one owns all three of these items, he becomes the master of death. Meaning you could never die as long as you own these items.” Gellert explained, looking into my eyes, expecting a response._

_“Is that true?” I asked excitedly. Immortality. Who doesn’t dream of that?_

_Gellert just nodded silently, a smile on his lips. “Imagine Albus… what we could do with these items. What power we would have. We could rule the world together and no one could touch us. We could be forever together, we would never have to die.” He explained._

_I smiled up at him. His broad hand rested on my waist, making my skin tingle._

_“Don’t you want that for us Albus?”_

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Of course you want to believe everything they are saying.” I sadly looked down at my desk.

I couldn’t face Newt right now. I wondered how he dealt with these new revelations.

The memories of the endless conversations that Gellert and I used to have flooded my brain. I almost couldn’t bare the thought of it.

Quieter, I continued: “Imagine if you come from a broken family. You don’t have any friends, anyone to share your load with. Imagine you have never experienced love, or compassion, or intimacy or affection.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_“See, over there that’s Orion. The one that looks like a man with a bow and quiver.” I explained, roughly pointing as to where I could see the shape on the night sky._

_“I can’t see a man up there.” Gellert exclaimed next to me._

_“Well you have to be imaginative. Look – it’s a trapezium shape there, above that like – two horns, underneath like a half triangle and then- WILL YOU STOP LAUGHING AT ME?” I chuckled, as I noticed him giggling next to me._

_“I didn’t know you were this much into astronomy. Last lesson I recall having to wake you…” He teased._

_“Hey, I was just very tired that day.” I exclaimed and turned my head to look at him._

_It was already past midnight; we had snuck out of Hogwarts to go stargazing. It was a warm summer night and tomorrow was the weekend, so it really didn’t matter when we would go to bed today. Gellert had even brought a blanket that we now rested on._

_Our shoulders were brushing against each other as we were lying on our backs, looking up into the clear dark blue of the night sky. It was dark all around us, but his white eye sparkled in the darkness. His long blond hair pooled around his shoulders on the blanket, his eyes roaming over my face._

_My smile faded as I was completely captivated by his unique beauty._

_“Can I kiss you?” Gellert suddenly asked._

_I looked at him with eyes wide as saucers._

_“I don’t think we are allowed to-“_

_“Please?” he asked sheepishly._

_I looked at him, wondering if I should object. It was not like I had never thought of that before, but in the moment I just figured that that’s normal._

_I briefly smiled and as he inched closer to me, I felt butterflies in my stomach I had never felt before. He gently cupped my face and pulled me close._

_The kiss was short and sweet, his lips were soft and I could feel warmth radiating off of his tall figure. As we parted, our faces were mere centimeters apart from each other as we started to giggle like little girls._

_I then, bravely, leaned back in and connected our lips once more._

____________________________________________________________________ _________________________________

“Of course you latch onto the first person who offers you these things.” I finished.

The memories of that night were my absolute favorites to return to. Thinking back to that moment, all was well. No looming threat, no destruction or violence. Just silence, honesty, affection and intimacy.

Newt now lifted his gaze, as if he had come to a great realization. “Professor… do you still see him? In the mirror?”

I just presented a narrow smile. I did not need to answer.

“It’s ironic, isn’t it.” I leaned against the desk, digging my fingers into the wood. “Grindelwald is the only person who ever, truly, mattered to me. And yet I am the one who needs to bring him down.”

“Newt, imagine if you would have to go against Tina.”

I watched his eyes sparkle as I mentioned her name, but his expression quickly shifted at the image I provided. I could hear his breath hitch and saw his hands clench to fists.

“Exactly.” I said to no one.

Newt then asked a question I had dreaded for months now. “Are you confident you _can_ bring him down?”

I huffed. “I don’t know. Newt, I honestly do not know.”

“Professor…”

“I haven’t seen him in over 15 years. I do not know how I will react if I see him again.”

The thought of having to face him after all these years, knowing HOW we had to part, it saddened me deeply and I had the overwhelming urge to just be alone.

“Newt if you do not mind, I would like to be alone right now. I need to prepare what lies ahead.”

I could tell that there was a lot left unsaid as Newt turned and silently walked towards the door. With a hand on the door handle, he turned around to face me one last time.

“Professor, I know you will be able to separate your feelings from the truth. You are his equal. I believe in you.”

As Newt turned around and left, he had no clue how much those words meant to me.

***

Days later, I was sitting at my desk, half-mindedly looking over some test papers, when the young McGonagall entered and announced that I had a visitor.

McGonagall was still a student herself, but I liked giving out small jobs to less-fortunate students. They would help me archive papers, plan the holiday festivities or, in McGonagall’s case, be my secretary, and in return they could earn a little money.

“Thank you, Miss McGonagall.” I said, motioning her to let the guest in.

As I saw Newt enter, I quickly gathered the paper on my desk and pushed them to the side. Newt rarely came to visit me and if he did, it was urgent.

“Newt, it’s good to see you again so soon. What happened?” I asked, quickly standing up from my seat.

“Oh nothing, I just wanted to hear if you have any ideas yet on how to close in on Grindelwald.” He answered, burying his hands in his pockets. I raised an eyebrow.

“Oh-“ I answered, quite taken aback.

“Not yet. The last known place he was staying at was-“ I rummaged through the top drawer in my desk and opened the file I was keeping on Grindelwald. “-ah yes, Rue de la Campagne 34, in Paris. We are in touch with the French Ministry of Magic but alas, what can we do.”

“Can’t you just… attack him?” Newt asked unbothered, looking into my eyes.

I huffed. “Making jokes now? He is the most powerful wizard, we can’t ‘just attack him’. We would all be dead in seconds.” I answered, dropping the file back into the drawer and closing it with a push of my hip.

Something about Newt was off today – I couldn’t quite place my finger on it though.

“I can’t make any decisions anyway, as you know. Your brother probably informed you that because of these fine shackles-“ I raised my arms in the air for him to see, “the ministry basically knows what I’m doing, where I am and what spells I’m casting at all time.”

A hint of confusion ghosted over Newts face, which quickly disappeared again. “My brother, right…” he mumbled under his breath.

“So therefore, maybe I can think about my plans but I certainly can’t discuss them with anyone, much less try any action myself.” I said, dropping back into my chair. “Not that there would be much to discuss anyway.”

Silence lay upon the room and I quietly observed Newt, who was still standing in the middle of my office, his hands buried in his pockets, his gaze resting on me at all time. Something was different.

“Well Albus, whenever you find something out, I would appreciate it if you could inform me.” Newt said.

There it was. My body tensed. I looked him up and down. My suspicion had now peaked.

“Newt, do you know what I see when I look into the Mirror of Erised?” I asked cautiously.

Newt scrunched his face. “What’s that?” I smiled and nodded.

I quickly leaped over to the little stand next to my table, grabbed my wand and pointed it at my visitor. “Revelio!” I yelled into the quiet of the room, and immediately ‘Newts’ face melted away and a different one was revealed underneath.

My breath hitched. My grip around my wand tightened as I was afraid I would drop it out of sheer surprise.

No one other than Gellert Grindelwald stood in the middle of my office, Newts clothing now way too tight on him. His hair was not long anymore, it was now a modern undercut that most men were wearing at this time. But his demeanor, his posture and height had barely changed since I last saw him.

He put his hands in the air in fake defeat. “You got me.” He smiled. “How did you know?”

“Where is Newt?” I asked wary, completely ignoring his question.

“Don’t worry, your little boy toy is in a cupboard somewhere. I will obliviate him and he will never know.” Grindelwald said, as he started to walk around my office as if it was a museum.

“He’s not my-“ I began, my wand still pointed at the intruder.

“Nice you got it here. A teacher. Quite underneath your potential though, don’t you think?” he asked, turning towards me again. His demeanor was relaxed, but he still had his wand in his hands behind his back, ready to fling a disarming spell towards me if I moved to quickly.

Without my doing, my breathing picked up speed. I could not believe he was actually standing here in front of me. I had seen his face in newspapers and in his file millions of times, but this was different. This was real.

“So, are you here to kill me?” I asked, less confident than intended.

“I just came to see how you are doing dearie.” He answered mockingly, waving his hand around the room.

I squinted my eyes at him. “Listen Albus – how about this. If you don’t attack me, I don’t attack you. Let’s just talk. For old times sake.” He offered, demonstratively putting his wand back into his coat and presenting his empty hands to me.

I felt a sting in my heart when he mentioned ‘the old times’. By the look on Gellert’s face, he clearly knew what these words were doing to me.

“Tell me then – what are your plans?” I asked, unwillingly dropping my wand on top of my desk. I still didn’t dare take my eyes off him, still wary of his every move.

He chuckled. “Is that really what you want to ask me?”

Of course not.

It’s the most logical thing to ask, but it was definitely not the first thing on my mind. I wondered if the Ministry knew that Gellert Grindelwald was here at Hogwarts, putting thousands of students and teaching staff at risk.

But whether I wanted to or not, I knew him. And in this moment, I knew he wasn’t here to kill anyone.

“Nothing else on your mind?” he asked again, slowly walking towards me. “Mhm?”

“Fine.” I surrendered. “Why did you leave me that night?” I asked him.

I was sure he could see the sadness in my eyes as he turned towards me.

“Oh so you’re still petty about that huh?” Gellert chuckled, his figure now only a couple of feet away from me. He picked up a paperclip from my desk and turned it in his fingers.

“I just want to know, Gellert.” My voice softer than it should be. “You know I would have gone anywhere with you after…”

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_His hands on my face, my chest, my arms and legs. His lips followed._

_My eyes were closed, and I just gave into the sensation his skin caused on mine._

_His warm breath hit my skin next to my ear as he moved on top of me._

_Yes it was technically illegal, to do THIS on Hogwarts ground. Also, we were two men. But how can something be illegal that feels so right?_

_I wrapped my arms around his naked torso, pulling him down on me. I wanted to feel ever inch of his skin on mine, his warmth, his sweat, I wanted it all._

_His lips were pressed to my neck, and I noticed his heavy breathing in between kisses._

_“Gellert, I-“ I said breathlessly into the dark of the room._

_He grunted approvingly and brought his face up to meet mine. We sunk into a deep kiss as the wave of ecstasy flushed over us._

_First over me, and then him. The comfortable pace we had fallen into slowed down and then finally stopped._

_For a few brief second, I just breathed through this feeling, a dumb smile on my lips, my eyes closed._

_After a few beats of silence, I felt a strong arm snake around my waist and pull me closer._

_I rested my head and my right arm on top of his chest, hearing his heart beat quickly in his chest._

_And then we just laid there. If it was minutes or hours I could not tell. All I could feel was the warmth, the silence and you._

_I don’t remember how many times we looked at each other, searching for words to say. But there wasn’t anything that could be said._

_I simply stretched up to reach your lips and kissed you, again and again. No demands, no obligations. Just us._

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“No, you wouldn’t have.” He protested. “You always doubted me. You would have stopped me eventually. You were never d’accord with my methods.”

“How could I be?” I exclaimed. “It was brutal. It was unnecessary. It was-“

“See you _still_ don’t understand!” Gellert interrupted me.

I just huffed at that response.

“You don’t see the problem. You just ignore it like everyone else does.” He stated, taking a few more steps towards me.

“Don’t you see? Us, magical folk, special, _powerful_ … we have to hide! We have to hide who we are because of these damn muggles. Because of them, we need to suppress and hide who we really are. You can’t honestly tell me you like the feeling of constant secrecy.”

I took a few steps back from him, gripping onto the edge of the desk for support. It felt like if I didn’t, I would fall over any minute.

Truthfully, I could understand why he had built such a large following. He was good with words; evil masterminds always are. He knew exactly what to say to convince already unhappy magic citizens – and what not to say.

“So your solution is really to just… kill them all?”

“Ever heard of natural selection, Albus? Survival of the fittest. If the muggles go against us, it is clear who the victor will be.”

“That is manslaughter, not natural selection!” I exclaimed agitated.

He smiled an evil smile. “You always think in binaries Albus.”

“Oh?” I asked ironically.

“See – don’t you think that killing an innocent child and killing, say… a mass murder, are two completely different things? Yet, by definition, both is manslaughter. But is both equally as bad?”

“Of course not but-“

“So you _do_ understand. Sometimes, taking drastic measures for the greater good can be necessary.” He concluded.

He folded his hands and smiled contentedly, proud to be achieving his goal.

“But killing all muggles is like killing the innocent. There is no reason to-“

“Oh, innocent? Remind me, who killed Ariana?”

I squeezed my eyes shut in pain. His words hit like a fist in the pit of my stomach.

Most days I can distract myself enough from the thought of her. Some days I’m failing. But to hear Gellert casually reference her death is too much. The image of my sister, lying on the ground in her own blood, had burned itself into my brain forever.

I angrily brushed a tear away from my eye. “Not all muggles are like that though.”

“Yes they are, Albus.” Gellert said softly. I remembered how he once said that it pains him to see me cry. I wondered if that was still the case.

“The muggle scum attacked and killed Ariana because they were afraid of her magic. When muggles are afraid, they attack. This is part of their species. One day, they will attack and to keep us safe, we will have to kill them anyway. So I just want us to have a head start.”

“You can’t know that-“

“Albus.” I heard him say. “You know I am right. You have studied muggle behavior as much as I have, maybe even more. You know that that’s how they behave.”

My eyes fell on a photograph on my desk. It was a picture of my family, when we were all still healthy, alive and together. I focused on Ariana, who stood in the center, a teddy bear in her hands and she broadly smiled at the camera, although I remembered we were told not to.

Gellert caught my gaze. With a sigh, he reached for the picture and picked it up.

“Don’t.” I whispered.

He didn’t listen. He looked down at the photograph, his lips in a frown. “Pure Ari, she really was the kindest soul. She didn’t deserve this.”

I nodded absentmindedly. She really didn’t.

“You know Albus, there is not much I regret in life. But I regret leaving you.” He said, his eyes still glued to the photograph.

These words. _These goddamned words._

These were exactly the words I always wanted to hear _you_ say. To hear _you_ apologize for leaving without saying goodbye, without telling me where you’d go. To hear _you_ apologize for taking advantage of my body and my feelings, and then dropping me right after I wasn’t of use to you anymore.

Gellert put the photograph back to where he had taken it from my desk and instead, slowly pulled out his wand. I didn’t reach for mine; I knew he wouldn’t attack me.

He took my hand and slowly placed his wand in my palm.

My breath hitched. “The Elder Wand.” I stated breathlessly. I noticed him nodding beside me.

“The most powerful wand in the world. Do you know how powerful I can be with this? How powerful _we_ can be?”

The wand felt heavy in my hand, as if the entire magic contained in it weighed it down. I wondered what he would do if I just took it away from him. But then, I never would.

“It’s not too late Albus.” He was standing so close that I could feel his breath on my ear as he was speaking.

“You can still join me.” He was placing his hand around mine; the one that was holding the wand.

His body moved closer. “Things could be the way they were. And so much better.” He whispered, leaning closer to me.

For a split second I felt his lips brush over my neck. The feeling made my skin tingle.

“Don’t you want that?” he whispered, barely audible, pressing another small kiss behind my ear.

For a second I was tempted. I closed my eyes and I was tempted to just _give in_.

To go with him, to bring the world to its knees, to slaughter every last muggle with him. To be _his_ again.

I felt his big hand interlace with mine, as they had so many times before.

He still felt the same. He still smelled the same. He _was_ the same.

“No.” I said, somewhat confidently. I pulled my hand out of his grip and stepped away, the Elder Wand falling onto my desk with a ‘clunk’.

Gellert took a step back, his features resigned.

“I see.” He answered. “You picked your side.”

I nodded determinedly, clenching my fists.

“What now then? You will kill me? You will call the authorities?” He asked, carelessly shoving the wand back into his cloak.

“No. I will let you leave.” I said.

He raised an eyebrows. “Oh… am I supposed to take that as a gesture of endearment?”

“No.” I remarked. “I am simply giving you a head start. I will have to kill you eventually.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for reading.  
> It was a very beautiful sunny day, want to know what I did? Sat inside and wrote :D
> 
> I would very much appreciate kudos or comments, but just you reading is enough for me.  
> I hope you all have an amazing day and see you (hopefully) soon!  
> Lena xoxo


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